Although social media is a way for people to connect and keep up with each other’s lives, it can also be used to observe and follow people without their knowledge or permission. Joe Goldberg from “You”, the 2018 Netflix hit-series, uses this to his full advantage as he stalks Guinevere Beck, the main character of the show.

Although Netflix does not reveal official viewership details, upon its release, “You” became very popular with teens and young adults. Many of the themes in the TV show, such as social media, friendships, partying, relationships, and romance seemed to resonate with this age bracket immediately. This is perhaps because youth can connect these ideas to their own lives, and they understand the negative consequences that can arise when social media and romance intersect, as seen on  Joe’s quest to attain Guinevere. Unbeknownst to her, social media becomes the primary way that Joe slowly infiltrates her personal and romantic life.

Beck, as she likes to be called, is initially not aware that she has captured the interest of Joe after a chance encounter in a bookstore. He, on the other hand, finds her on social media using her name, and devours everything he can find out about her. He meticulously watches Beck through online accounts and steals her phone to access her private messages.Joe’s behaviour soon escalates to physical stalking and voyeurism-a practice in which individuals gain sexual pleasure from observing others.  We eventually see Joe standing outside of Beck’s apartment, watching her undress and be intimate with others, revealing his voyeuristic tendencies and making it harder for viewers to relate to him..  

His extreme actions, fortunately, are not a reflection of us, but it is still crucial to ask: “How much can we relate to Joe at first, when he uses social media to learn everything about someone he is interested in? How many of us can really say that we have never gone online to stalk a crush or an ex without their knowledge? How do we justify social media stalking but not literal stalking?”

“You” sheds light on the intrusive and consequential qualities of social media, whether we are sharing or observing. Joe Goldberg is simply an exaggerated version of ourselves, which is hinted at by the title of the show itself. Joe narrates his thoughts to us; he faces the camera and speaks as if he sees us, as if he is welcoming us into his world because, essentially, we are an extension of him. “You” is about us.

In the twenty-first century, it is considered abnormal if we don’t have a social media presence. We are all expected to share personal aspects of our lives on the internet. During this process, we are inevitably attracted to what others share as well, and that sometimes leads to negative practises, such as internet addiction, self-esteem issues, and disruption to everyday life.

In a healthy scenario, social media fosters intimate relationships in which there is an exchange of personal information about each other. But in cases like Joe’s, such as with an unrequited love interest, social media allows us to follow people’s lives without their consent. This toxic situation gives us a dangerous gratification as we secretly consume the virtual life of our target.

Joe’s moral deterioration reminds us of the negative consequences of social media. It is because of Beck’s online presence that Joe can collect details about her, which ultimately helps him gain her trust and invade her life in person. Although Joe realizes that Beck’s virtual persona is not true to her real-life self, it is because of this understanding that he is able to seduce her when she is most vulnerable. 

The TV show explores the potential ramifications that can unfold in our own lives should we exhibit behaviour like Joe’s. When digital privacy becomes a joke, it gives us the leeway to abuse and use that to our advantage in person as well. Relationships can become dependent on transparency that we do not necessarily consent to. Whether it is by keeping tabs on our partners or friends, or by learning about strangers through their online personas, social media changes the meaning of privacy and relationships forever.

Zainab Mirza

Please note that opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the views and values of The Blank Page.