Imagine fleeing a life of blood, toil, and trauma. Think of climbing over that burden and finding some measure of peace, just to be faced with even more tragedy. This is the stark reality that Amal Alshteiwi’s family must now endure. Amal’s family had arrived in Calgary as Syrian refugees three years ago, only for 9-year-old Amal to, allegedly, be bullied into suicide.
This case raises many concerns about the wellbeing of children, including the ability for newcomers to “identify problems and access help.” It forces us to ask when school playgrounds became so unsafe. Most importantly, what can we do to prevent this kind of tragedy from occurring again?
“Social” bullying is more common as children move through elementary school (e.g name-calling, exclusion, and teasing). It is often hard for adults to see and hard on victims to talk about. Social bullying is made more problematic with social technology, where children may be targets of cyberbullying. In many cases, cyberbullying can be more detrimental and concentrated because of the perpetrator’s anonymity and easy access to the victim. While suicide is not common for bullying victims from Amal’s age group, bullying still leads to many other long-term effects, including increased likelihood for difficulty holding down a job, drug abuse, and criminal activity.
None of this should be surprising. Many grew up surrounded by anti-bullying campaigns and have experienced bullying in some way. However, there are particular distinctions surrounding Amal’s death – namely, her status as a newcomer to Canada – that are important to consider.
First, bullying is often a “means of obtaining power” on the perpetrator’s end, and it is different from regular conflict because it minimizes a group or party. Gaining peers’ admiration or a sense of self-confidence are common reasons why kids engage in social bullying. In Amal’s case, her brother stated that she was mocked for wearing a hijab and her looks. This suggests discriminatory ideas that children are exposed to influenced their behaviour. Kids also tend to bully to replace developing social skills with aggression and abuse as they grow older. This behaviour can become ingrained as early as 10 years old.
Another factor that allows bullying to persist is a lack of communication between children and authority figures. Children may not speak out in fear of being shamed or ignored, and, for many newcomers, cultural taboos also prevent meaningful conversations from taking place.
With that being said, what can we do to prevent cases like this from happening again? For starters, parents, guardians, and other authority figures can take appropriate steps in response. This includes putting in extra attention toward teaching students about the many forms of marginalization and the importance of embracing diversity. Creating a sense of accountability in children (e.g educating them on conflict resolution and managing impulses) is an effective action that can address bullying.
In terms of intervening, open communication is the best way for authority figures to understand the situation and take the best course of action. This includes making classrooms a safe place, providing children with the right resources, and encouraging conversation. However, educating youth on diversity also entails efforts for accommodation, regardless of institution. Sam Nammoura, co-founder of the Calgary Immigrant Support Society, has stated that many agencies lack an “understanding of culture, language, and communication.” This is unfortunate, as this understanding is crucial to starting conversation between newcomers and resource holders. And the consequences are dire; Amal’s mother did not know she could file a complaint about bullying.
It is important that teachers understand the special difficulties that children adjusting to new environments face. While resources are available to help children, many are foregone because authority figures do not act alongside them. Amal’s mother stated that many teachers ignored Amal’s problems. Instead of taking advantage of resources, teachers deflected the issues, stating that Amal’s challenges originated at home, not school.
Authority figures can also monitor children’s access to sensitive information in person and online, particularly paying attention to content like suicide methods. These are red flags that should not be ignored. No one should ever contemplate suicide as an option to escape — and we can do so by emphasizing communication as much as we can.
In the wake of tragedy, it is our responsibility to reflect on what can be done. A child’s life should be free and full of possibilities, not weighed down by aggression and abuse. Providing the right resources in the right places gives us power to jumpstart open communication and help people adjust to challenging environments. By educating the next generation on acceptance and understanding, we can prevent harassment from occurring in the first place.
By Jareeat Purnava
Please note that opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the views and values of The Blank Page.
