Note: This article is a satire piece that may use fake names or quotes and reference fictitious events in the pursuit of relevant and humorous social commentary, criticism and understanding.
Two days before Christmas in 2015, a photo of a disfigured dog was posted in desperation. A family was asking for prayers in the form of likes and shares on Facebook to help their dog recover from a horrifying facial burn. Almost two years and many prayers later, the dog is likely to miraculously recover, thanks to God.
The heroic dog was a Christmas miracle, saving the family from a blazing house fire. After the owners saw their dog’s injuries, they rushed him to an animal hospital.
According to them, surgeons were unsure as to whether the dog would ever be the same.
“In these kinds of situations, medical care is farfetched” explained Dr. Gordon Setter. “On top of being colour-blind, the dog’s face was inoperable. We suggested the owners post a status on Facebook asking for prayers.”
Though the method seemed unorthodox to the owners, they tried it nonetheless.
In an interview with the family, they commented, “We were in need of the Lord. From our research, we knew we wouldn’t get God’s attention unless we got at least 25,000 likes and shares. We forced our dog to drink Holy Water soon after we posted the image on social media. We were grateful to see the response online.”
After only a few days, Facebook knocked on heaven’s doors and God answered with a smile after seeing the photo had received enough blessings (in the form of likes and shares) to aid the owners in their time of need.
“God tends to be quite choosy with his miracles,” said Facebook tech intern, Jack Russel. “It has to have enough likes or shares before divine intervention. When He has made a decision, He usually just sends us a photo or screenshot of whatever photo he’s willing to work with.”
Soon after God sent Facebook His approval, the dog’s condition began to vanish. He is expected to make a full recovery and go back to living a normal life.