He doesn’t want you
He doesn’t want you
He doesn’t want you
He never wanted you
Plays on repeat in the background
Where I store the songs stuck in my head
And my favourite lines from books
“My girl, my girl, my girl. Talkin’ bout my girl”
He doesn’t want you
“It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like, so long as somebody loves you”
He never wanted you
I have always been me in the context of someone else
I have always been loveable only when someone is in love with me
I have always been important only when needed
I have always been valuable only when wanted
But why?
Because, I have learned
I am scared
I am scared of seeing what I might be on my own
Some grotesque half human
Only limbs for helping
Not a life for living
But it has been two months
And I am still here
Still working and thriving
Still making change for others
Still bringing to the world what I once needed from it
Still living
Still here
Because, I have learned
You were merely a wave
In the ocean of me
And you have passed
You are gone
There is no trace of you
And what is an ocean without one wave?
Nothing less
Nothing less.
Author’s note: To everyone who has had their heart broken. To everyone who has ever been tricked and abandoned. To everyone afraid to be alone. All you need is you. All you’ll ever need is you.
By Alexa Jane Battler
